I sat up in bed thinking hard and trying not to strangle Lindsay before throwing her out a window. Finally my anger took over and I stood up and yelled at the top of my lungs. "Lindsay! Sit up and listen to me damnit!! I don't know what the hell your problem is or what makes you think that you can walk your bulemic ass in here and tell me what the hell I am and what the hell I am going to do, but you have got quite another thing coming!! For your damn information, Taylor was in here so that he could sleep for his class tomorrow!! Not like you give a damn or anythng!! Afterall, if it doesn't concern you, why the hell should you care??!! But don't you DARE waltz in here and tell ME what MY friends can do nor are you to ever call me a pervert! EVER!! I don't think like that! If you think that then YOU are the pervert! I left you in ther because I didn't want to wake you up when you had finally gotten to sleep! I was TRYING to be a friend! But if you are going to be like that, then screw it!" I was about to lay back down when I realised something else. "And for your damn information, I happen to like Taylor. I like him A LOT. And just because I know that you like Zac doesn't mean that I was gonna leave you two in there hoping that someone would get screwed! I am nicer and better than that!! And Jesus Lindsay, I TRIED to explain but do you think that you would listen to me??! Of course not!! Ugh!! I am so pissed right now I could SCREAM!!" I couldn't yell anymore.
I yanked open the door to see Taylor leaning against the wall by the door. My eyes widened in surprise and I couldn't bare to face him after hearing that.
I whirled around and raced down the hall way. I had no idea where I was going and I didn't want to. I pushed open the door and headed straight towards my new car. I had second thoughts and realised that I didn't have my keys so I ran further down the sidewalk.
Somehow, I ended up on a bench in the middle of the campus crying. I was cold and angry and for some unknown reason, I was crying. I listened for a minute, thinking that Taylor would be coming behind me to talk but after 5 minutes, I realised that no one was coming.
"Well, glad they want me here." I was talking sarcastically to myself.
Perhaps I should have taken psychology instead of photography. I leaned back on the bench and thought about what I had just done. I reran the events in my mind. I had even called Lindsay bulemic to her face. And rudely at that.
"I am such an ass." Once again, I was tlaking outloud to myself. "I need to drown these things."
With that resolved, I reached in my pocket and felt around to see if I had any money. Sure enough, I had a twenty dollar bill.
I had remembered a convenient store just down the street and I ran the whole way down there, my throat begging for the cool, foamy liquid thats bitter taste was pleasant.
I finally reached the shop and saw a boy about 17 mopping the floor. No one else was in sight. I knocked cautiously on the glass barred door. The boy looked up at me and pointed to the closed sign just above my head. I beckoned him to come over and he sighed and came over, unlocking the door just enough to crack it open and hear what I had to say.
"I need beer. Now. ANd I have 20 dollars. I will give you all 20 just for one can."
He looked at me skeptically and then finally nodded. He pulled me inside and walked down one of the short aisles towards the drink section. He handed me a 6 pack and stuck out his hand for the money. I gave him the money and thanked him before making a hasty retreat out of there.
I ran as fast as I could back to the University and stood by a deserted trash can drinking the alchol. I could feel it running down my throat and entering my system.
In 10 minutes, I had finished the pack. I threw the carton and cans away and staggered up to the dorm hall. I managed to drag myself up the stairs, only falling twice and made it to my room door. Then I realised how angry I was and started walking towards the only other door on the hall that I knew, the Hanson brothers.
I was halfway to their door when the alcohol just took control and left me knocked out in the middle of the hallway. I didn't try to call for help, I just layed there, and watched as the blackness took over. I remembered thinking how sorry I was for what I said to Lindsay before not thinking again and being taken into a deep sleep.
I flet guilty. Tahsa was being nice, but I didn't look at it that way. I was so wrapped up in anger and confusion. I had to apologize. I got up, walked out the door, walked past Taylor and found Tasha lying there on the floor. I could that she was drunk.
"Oh, just peachy," I muttered.
I bent down and held Tahsa in my arms and shook her. "Tash, Tash, TASHA! GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" I yelled, then slapped her.
"Ahh! What Huh what? Oh, whadda you want?" she snapped, soudning weird.
"I'm sorry. You were being a friend but I failed to see it. I'm really sorry, and you don't deserve to have me as a friend. So, I'll move out tommorow." I apologized, not looking at her.
"You don't have to move out, and I don't want you to. I'm sorry for yelling at you, but you did piss me off." she returned.
"You told them I was bulemic didn't you?"
"Well, it kinda slipped out. My sister died from doing that Lindsay. Believe it or not, I don't want that to happen to you." I didn't say anything after that. Both our sisters died. I couldn't believe how much we had in common.
"C'mon Tash, let's get you back in the dorm," I picked her up and carried her. About two seconds later, she puked on me.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"You just HAD to drink something, didn't you? Tahsa what am I going to do with you?"
"I'm not the one who's bulemic here, so shut it."
I shut up and we walked the rest of the way to the dorm room. I cleaned her up and put her to bed. She was fast asleep. I felt horrible thinking about the hangover she was going to have tomorrow. I looked on her scheduale. Her class was at noon, hopefully she'd survive. I had to apologize to another person.
I walked into the hall and sat down next to Taylor.
"Yes?" he asked, seeing me next to him.
"I'm sorry." I apologized softly.
"You should be."
"Why are you torturing yourself Lindsay?"
"Who said I was?"
"Being bulemic isn't torture?"
"Not in my book."
"Well, it is in mine. Tahsa and I care about you, believe it or not. I know your thinking, 'well then you should respect my desicions then'. But being bulemic is stupid, very stupid, and when you care about someone, you don't let them do stupid things."
He put his hand on my shoulder and continued, "Don't do this Lindsay, it's stupid. It can kill you, and I know you don't want to die."
"I don't think I can stop."
"Yes you can."
"Listen to me. You have friends who are gonna help you through this. We're here for you, and you're gonna get back to normal if it's the last thing you do."
I looked at him blankly. I didn't even know him and he was acting like he was my best friend or something. I looked into to his eyes and found the comfort I needed. In a matter of seconds, I was in his arms and crying on his shoulder.
"Shh, it's okay Lindsay," he spoke softly.
"Thank you," I whispered.
We pulled apart.
"I'm going to need all the help I can get you know," I mentioned.
"I know. And we're here to offer it." he reasured.
"You like Tasha, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. If you must know, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen"
"Yeah you can. In case it hasn't gotten through your thick skull, she likes you too. So if you wanna live a peaceful life, make sure you let her know how you feel. Believe me, I'm known for hooking people up in not the most pleasent ways."
He just gave me a smirk.
"Why are you so intent on making sure we become a couple?"
"I owe you guys. Big time."
"Thanks. Now get your Mmmbopping butt in there, Tasha's gonna have a hangover."
"So that's where she stormed off to..."
"Yeah, that's right. And because of me."
Taylor and I stood up and went inside my dorm room. Taylor sat on Tasha's bed and cradled her close to him. I put a blanket over him and he smiled at me in return. Soon, he was fast asleep. I let out a sigh. So much for being skinny I thought.
I sat down in a chair and watched the two sleep. In a matter of minutes, they both woke up.
"Taylor?" she asked.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm making sure you don't trash this place when you have your hangover tomorrow."
Tahsa looked confused. Then she turned to me. I smiled at her saying that this was gift to her since I had been a bitch.
"Tahsa Look. I know I haven't known you very long, but I know you enought to know that I've fallen for you. You'll probably say no, but will you go out with me?"
"Huh?" How drunk can this girl get?
"He wants to know if you'll be his girlfriend stupid," I informed.
"Ummmmmm, yes." she agreed.
The two cuddled closer together, whispering something back and forth to each other. Sweet nothings most likely. But soon, they feel asleep. I smiled. I was glad that my bulemic days were over, sort of. I wasn't looking forward to being fat. But I guess didn't matter. I am who I am and if people don't like it, screw them. Besides, I was missing food. I stood up and ate a bannana, being as quiet as possible. I was glad I didn't have class tomorrow, but I had two classes the day after that. Oh well. I decided to leave Snow White and her Prince alone, so I grabbed my keys and went to the Hanson dorm.
I opened the door quietly and shut it behind me. I saw Zac sleeping peacefully on the couch, drooling on the pillow. I smiled and walked over to him. Vareful not to wake him up, I picked him up.
"Good God Zac, what have you been eating lately?" I whispered. This kid was HEAVY!
I brought him over to his bed, barely, and laid him dwon. I panted for a minute, then tucked him in. I sat down in the chair that was by the bed, and ran my fingers gently through his soft, golden locks. He looked like a perfect angel when he was sleeping. I just wanted to cradle him in my arms and kiss his head so badly. But I couldn't. He wasn't mine, and he never would be.
"Good night sweet angel," I whispered.
I bent down and kissed his cheek softly. God, his skin felt good against my lips. I rubbed his hand then got up. I layed down on the couch and stared at him, watching him breathe. I know, not too entertaining, but it's a different story when your watching God's most perfect creation. I mentally kicked myself for storming out here in the first place. Oh well, I hooked up Taylor and Tasha, can't be that bad.
I watched as Zac tossed and turned silently and observed his breathing. He was so perfect, I'd give anything for him to be mine. I got cold so I tucked myself in on Taylor's bed. I watched Zac until I finally fell alseep.