~*"An old man turned 98. He won the lottery and died the next day. Its a black fly in your chardonae, its a death row pardon 2 minutes too late. And isn't it Ironic? Don't you think?"~Alanis Morrisette*~
I grabbed my backpack out of the back of my car and headed towards the HUGE building after Taylor got out and headed towards his own class. I FINALLY found the room I was looking for and took my seat on the very front row. That's just how I am. I love being in the front. I pulled out my recorder so that I could actually decipher what the prof. was saying later on and then pulled out my black/fire notebook and a red mechanical pencil. I was set to jet.
I looked around to see if there was anyone I was interested in meeting. To my left sat a Danielle Fishel wannabe. I refrained myself from barfing. To my right was an empty chair. Gee. I think I may want to meet that person. I smiled to myself.
I looked behind me and saw Taylor pulling out his own green notebook and red mechanical pencil. I smiled to myself.
"Hey Tay." I greeted.
He looked up at me and smiled one of those heart-melting smiles. "Hey. I didn't know you were taking photography."
"You didn't ask!" I joked.
"I am trying to get a magazine internship and stuff so I figured I was gonna take the class to brush up my skills." I continued.
That was one of the things I think that I liked most about him. You could always tell that he was listening.
"So, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"Um, well I always thought that it was kinda cool how the photographers took pics of the band and stuff. Ya know? So I got interested and signed up." He explained.
It was then that the professor walked in. I started the recorder and took down the assignment. Take a scneic picture that holds importance and beauty for you. Easily done. After class I stood outside the door waiting for Taylor to get his bootie outside. I waited for about 15 minutes before getting bored and walking off down the sidewalk.
Soon I heard the pounding of running feet and a "Tasha, WAITUP!!"
I stopped and turned to wait for Taylor. This proved to be a BAD idea. He didn't stop in time and ended up running smack into me. I went down fast with him right on top of me. I layed there for a minute trying to get my thoughts together on what had just happened. THen I realised my position.
"Get off!" I pushed him onto the grass beside me and started laughing. "I am really glad that you don't do track, you know that?" I kidded.
"Yeah I know. Thye would have to run after me to give me the medal."
I rolled my eyes and stood up, brushing myself off. He stood up beside me quickly and started talking. I wasn't really paying any attention, just looking around the campus for anywhere good to take the photo so that I could get my homework done and out of the way.
I was immediatly brought back to the conversation when he said "Zac and Lindsay."
He turned to me. "Weren't you listening?"
"Um. Not really. I'm sorry. I was looking for a good place to take the picture and do my homework." I admitted as I blushed a shade of light crimson.
"Oh. I said that we need to try and hook up Zac and Lindsay. You know. Repaying the favor."
"Ohhh...I agree. Lindsay is so obviously head over heels for him." I revealed.
"Yeah. Zac gets a thrill out of just watching her breathe. Its kinda funny."
"Mmm-hmm." I agreed as I kicked pebbles out of the way and stared at my notebook.
"But about that scenic photo, I have a really good idea. And it could get Zac and Lindsay hooked up at the same time." He said.
"Really? Fill me in!"
I listened ecitedly as he revealed the perfect plan. I had to agree. It was good. We went to an on-campus Starbucks and plotted over a cappucino.
This was gonna be good!!
~* I had the sense to recognise that I don't know how to let you go. The urning to be with you, I do what I have to do. *~ Sarah McLachlan
"Okay, cool. See ya," I concluded as I hung up the phone. I had just finished talking with my friend Kelly. It had been a little while since we last talked. I stood up from the desk and got out my Star Wars book and began to read while I layed in bed. After five minutes of peace in Star Wars land, I heard a knock on the door. I sighed and put the book down, walking to the door. I opened it, and saw My smiling sister Shelly and my four year old, red headed brother Connor.
"Hey girl," Shelly greeted, smiling.
"Shelly! Oh my gosh, I've missed you so much!" I exclaimed as we embraced in a hug. After we pulled apart I bent down to look at Connor who was hugging my leg.
“Hey you!" I said as I picked him up.
"Lindsay!" he exclaimed, hugging me with his little arms.
"Connor! Hey buddy, how ya doin?" I returned.
"Good," he answered.
"C'mon in Shel," I invited.
We walked inside and I shut the door behind us. Connor pointed to one of my Star Wars pictures and nearly yelled with joy, "Jar Jar!"
"You just HAD to make this place fit your Star Wars obsesion, didn't you?" Shelly asked, giving me a smirk.
"You know me, gotta leave my mark!" I claimed.
My sister smiled and shook her head. I set Connor down and he climbed on Tahsa's bed and Jumped on it. Since Tahsa had made me a tad peeved at the resturaunt by giving me those sly looks, I let Connor jump on the bed and get it all dirty with his tiny Elmo sneakers. Hehehehe.
"So how do you like college so far?" Shelly asked.
"Oh, I like it alot! My roomate Tahsa is like, the coolest person I've met and she and I are basically best friends. I dumped Ewan coz he was cheating on me, that's the only bad thing that's happened so far," I replied.
"He was cheating on you? That shit! I'm gonna kick his ass!" Shelly threatened my ex.
"Hey! Dat's a baaaaaaad word in dis house young lady!" Connor scolded adorably.
"Oops! My bad!" Shelly covered her mouth. "There, I've gounded myself," she hit herself on the hand as a punishment.
"Dat's more like it soldier!" Connor returned.
We both smiled at him and he then pretended to be Jar Jar while still jumping on the bed. I turned back to Shelly.
"So, did Mom come along with you guys?" I asked. Right away Shelly had a look of worry on her face.
"Mama on vacation," Connor announced.
"Vacation? Why's she on vacation?" I asked no one in particular.
I looked at Shelly. If the look on her face didn't scream sad, stressed, and depressed I didn't know what would. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to the other side of the room, out of Connor's ear range.
"Mom isn't on vaction Lindsay. She's in the hospital." she explained softly.
"In the hospital? Why?" I inquired. The tone of my sisters voice meant bad news.
Shelly sighed and looked like she was gonna cry when she answered, "She has lukemia."
I was shocked. I couldn't even move. This was unbelieable! My Mother had cancer! She can't have cancer! She can't! Cancer kills! I can't loose my sister AND my mother!! Mom was the closet person I've been to! Next to Jen my strongest supporter! I loved her, SHE CAN'T DIE!! I noticed that tears were building up.
"She's getting kemo therapy but-" she paused, wiping away a tear. "The doctors aren't sure that it will work. Mom has a high risk of loosing this battle with cancer."
"Which hospital is she in?" I asked, tears running down my cheeks from what Shelly had just told me.
"Saint Anns. The reason I told Connor that she was on vaction was because I didn't think he could handle the fact that Mom was sick. So don't tell him until the right time, okay?" she requested.
"Okay. I'm going to see Mom. If Tahsa and Taylor come back here, tell them I went out," I called as I headed out the door with my keys.
"Wait a minute, Taylor? Who's Taylor?" Shelly asked.
Before I could answer, I was out of the building, in my car, and burning rubber towards Saint Anns.
I got to the hospital in one peice, sprinted towards the information desk, and basically demanded to know where my mother was. The lady clamly told room 330. I sprinted to the room and opened the door when I arrived. Mom was lying in bed, looking pale and clearly sick. She was resting her eyes, and I noticed she looked much older and beautiful now. Almost like, an elderly angel. I walked in and softly closed the door behind me. I walked up to the bed, tears in my eyes. She looked so fragile and peaceful.
"Mom?" I squeaked.
She opened her hazel eyes and looked up at me, smiling.
"Hi honey," she greeted softly.
I sat down in a chair and rested my head on her chest. Mom stroked my haor and put her other hand on my back. I started crying, realizing that this moment could be the last I spent with her.
"Shhh, Lindsay don't cry. Everything's alright and will turn out fine, I promise. Oh my baby girl, you're growing up so beautifully," she comforted.
"I love you Mom!" I wept.
"I love you too Lindsay," she returned.
"Please don't say goodbye,"
Four hours later...
The hospital people had to kick me out so Mom could have therapy. I swear, my mother looked so sick and fragile that it broke my heart. But yet, she was also so much like an angel. Oh God, I don't know what I'd do if she died.
I opened the door to my dorm room and walked in, shutting it behind me softly. I felt and looked miserable and I was presenting a look of pure depression. Tahsa and Taylor were in there, talking about something. They looked up at me as I came inside.
"Hey Lindsay! What's wrong?" Tahsa asked, concerned as she greeted me. I didn't answer her but just walked slowly to my bed. I sat down on it's side and let the back of my head hit the wall as I leaned back, staring into space. The tears were welling up more and more now. Tahsa stood in front of with a look of sympathy and concern and put a caring hand on my shoulder.
"Lindsay, tell me, what's wrong?" she asked again, with more concern in her voice.
I just looked at her and began to cry. I couldn't tell her, it only hurt more when I expressed my pain. She was about to say something when I stood up and sprinted to the bathroom. I locked my self in it, lenaed over the side of the tub (I was on my knees) and cryed desperatly onto the ceramic. Why was my life so painful?
~*"I could not ask for more than this love you've given, I could not ask for more than this love with you, all my prayers have been answered, all my dreams have came true. Right here in this moment, it's that we're meant to be. Here with you here with me. I've found all I've waited for. ANd I could not ask for more."~Edwin McCain"*~
"Holy mother of Jesus, what was that all about?" Taylor looked at me and I shrugged.
"I don't know Tay. I really don't know. Just five it time. One of two things will happen. Either one, she will come out or two, I will knock down the door after 5 hours and demand that she talks to me."
Taylor smiled and motioned for me to sit down beside him. I did and he put his left arm around me as I rested my head on his shoulder. We sat there for a couple of minutes just enjoying each other's presence when I realised that I had a class the next day. Not good. My homework wasn't done yet.
I stood up and went over to my desk. After searching through it for a while I finally found what I was looking for. My camera. Taylor looked at what I had in my hands and then stood up.
"I have to go get mine. Wait here just a second." He bolted out the door and after his camera.
I walked over to the bathroom door and leaned against it.
"Lindsay, please come out of there. I have to go and take the photos and I really don't want you here alone. Please come out."I begged.
"NO!" Came the loud reply from within.
"C'Mon Linz, you can come with us, or better yet, I can probably get the Zac-man over here to stay with you. You could go watch a movie, play cards, all sorts of things."I suggested.
"Even making out."I added quietly.
"I heard that young lady!" SHe hollered form inside. I had to smile that I was at least getting A reaction.
"Well, I am going. If you get lonely or want to talk to someone, Zac is right down the hall. And I will be back soon, I swear." I promised.
"Gee Tash, you would shorten your make-out with Taybear just for lil ole me?" I could tell that she was batting her eyes at the door.
"You never stop,do you?" I asked, shaking my head.
"No." She answered.
Then she got really quiet again.
By this time Taylor was back and we went out the door, cameras in hand. We both got in the truck and he drove out to a pond about 30 minutes away from the University.
The sun was getting low and striking the water at a breathtaking angle. "Wow!" I breathed.
"Yeah. Its a great place to think." Taylor nodded.
I looked at my watch out of habit and realised that I would need to get back to my dorm soon.
"Well, I hate to ruin the peaceful moment but we kinda need to hurry."
Taylor looked slightly dissapointed since he wouldn't have time to think but he nodded. "You first." He said.
I looked at the lake and then how the water was shining. It would look better if I took it from about 30 yards to my left. I went over there and sat on a bench to take my shot. I pressed the button and snapped the picture and then saw a flash of light from an angle to the left behind me.
I turned and saw Taylor standing there grinning at me. I jumped up and ran after him, catching up with him soon and hugging him from the back.
He stopped and turned, wrapping me in his arms. Soon I could feel his warm lips on mine and got lost in the moment.
Nothing disturbed my focus on the moment.